There is nothing more painful than loneliness. Even with a good network of friends, I can still experience it. I bring this up, because recently I have discovered that loneliness is not just triggered by the absence of something or someone, but is more importantly prolonged by our own thoughts. Loneliness is a state of mind - for me it has been a fight against myself. The best way to explain it is that I am my worst enemy, my side-kick is Hudson (my boyfriend), and God is my lover. That is the only way I have been able to successfully rise above my negative thoughts. Why is Hudson not my lover if I am dating him? Because Christ is both our lovers. Let me explain.
First, Christ sees our loneliness. His eyes are ever open to our suffering. How does He respond, how does he take action? Well, God has exactly four roles: God is our king, father, friend, and lover. He knows that there is nothing more humanizing, more life-giving than friendship. He is first our Friend. God wants our friendship, for us to share our secrets and our lives with him. With God as our King, he is all authority, we understand that he controls the world as it is and defines what is right and wrong. I don't have to worry about guiding my whole life, I don't have to be in complete control, because God is my King. He also asks to be our Father, a guide, a provider, a care-taker. Do you see how he keeps moving closer? Now, he wants me to consider him family...a relation. The family is an anchor from which we outstretch into society. That's a significant role. He loves us more than that though, he asks to be our Lover. Our lover! A lover is a best friend, a life partner, the most intimate relationship that we as humans can relate to. It is hard at first to consider Christ as a lover. I almost felt like exploring that idea was taboo. But I think that is perhaps that I had the wrong idea of what love is between a husband and wife. Marriage, being united as one, is more than just sex, joint bank accounts, or a shared toothbrush holder. It is living in sync with someone so closely that the only way to describe these two people is to call them "one." It is loving someone past the fullest point. I was thrown off to discover that being God's bride isn't just a metaphor. It is literal. God's goal is to be so close to me, for us to love and enjoy each other so much, that we could be called "one." God is my lover and Hudson's lover.
Hudson wrote a song about this concept and I would like to share the lyrics with you today. This is from the first verse, and I think it visually captures God's roles perfectly:
"You're the friend in the time of need
You're the Father with a bouncing knee
You're the lover who lies next to me
You're the king upon a noble steed."
